Coming home, going home.

I am a North Carolina girl. I just happen to be living and working in (and loving most days) Mississippi for the moment. At least that is somewhat how I have had to rationalize and manage my current place in the world.

As I write I am sitting in an airport watching people coming and going and waiting for my flight from NC to MS. I am waiting to leave home for my other, newer, home. It is a weird feeling. 

I counted down the days for about a month before I came home and now, just like that, it is time to leave again. I am not so sure how to feel about any of it. Except I know that the idea of home is now bigger and different, the same and so sacred. While I was at my NC home, with my fam and friends, I sat with baby cousins talking about toys and dreams, I cuddled a month old princess who already has my heart, I shared meals with family and beloved friends whose simple smiles and laughter refilled my soul. In ways I did not even know I needed. 

Yet now the world is back spinning and swirling and it is time to go back to work and life and friends in MS. And that is not so bad after all. 

For the first few months being away I struggled with the idea that I was not home, at all. And that was scary. But now I sit, eyes full of tears- crafted from love and new memories, and know that I have another home I am returning to. I am returning to friends who are like family and to work and to joy and my calling. And that is good. Words to craft this feeling are fleeing but what I know is - This trip back to my new home is not that bad anymore. I am in fact quite lucky- people are loving me from all around. People are nurturing me from all around. That is good. 

My home is now different and the same. Yes, I miss cousins and friends here but I discovered during this visit that the love is still there- in fact somewhat deeper and more appreciated- but I have something good to go back to. I am not alone. Love travels the distance, memories fill my heart, my eyes well up with tears of joy and thanks. For I know that not everyone has this kind of love to travel and bounce between. I am a Mississippi girl, I am a North Carolina girl. I am a lucky girl. I am a loved girl. I am blessed and when I open my eyes I realize that I bouncing between drifts of love streaming across miles and through so many narratives. How beautiful.