The Unexpected Sacred

Tis the season for the church to become inordinately busy with the now and the whats next - the upcoming events seem to be smashing head to head with the now events and everyone's head is spinning, at a least a bit, trying to wrap their minds around what day it is. 

Life is always interesting in the church. Nothing can be super set in stone, because well- life happens. Things change, crazy happens, rest is needed, family is needed, phone calls are needed, and the list goes on and on. As one who is working in the church I am growing more and more used to this pattern. My urge on the inside for color coordinated schedules is being somewhat thrown out the window because I am learning, daily, that life happens. 

Today I was in a meeting with a wonderful person and as we talked I was expressing this sentiment- that I am learning my schedule will be shafted from time to time due to other things that come up and that often in those things I am doing ministry that was not expected (emergencies, sickness, ect.) but that is sacred and wonderful… I kept talking (if you know me, you know I can ramble with the best of them) only to be interrupted and asked, "When do you let your own life's stuff interrupt, when do you find the sacred in your unexpected?" 

I was dumbfounded. Crap. When do I do that? I have no idea but knew that could not be my answer. I smiled and we soon shifted gears but have been thinking of that question all afternoon- when do I find my own crazy, unexpected, sick, bad day blues in and how do I begin to name them as sacred? That is a hard question. 

But ALL day I have been pondering it. All dang day long. And I have come up with the realization that  it is something worth working towards. I once heard a Jewish rabbi say that he hangs onto the good times and the bad or sad because he knows that he can learn just as much in the good as the bad, that he can find just as much grace and love from God in the good and the bad. He just has to allow himself that space. 

I think in ministry it is all too easy to let oneself block off personal emotion or feeling in favor of those around them. But I think that God is calling me to not only minister to those around me but to let them minister to me. This is hard and frustrating but beautiful. Tonight I am painting and thinking over those less than stellar things and offering thanks for their scared-ness (even when it is hard).